Monday, June 26, 2006

And so... the Fest is near

It's almost time to bugger off and head to festival.

I won't lie, I've been waiting for the 27th for about the past two months - like a kid waiting for school holidays... It's a great feeling. The templates are done. My desk is tidy (two neat piles of paper), hell - I've even deleted most of the kak shortcuts on my desktop. Tonight will mean packing and then the early start tomorrow.

This past weekend was crazy. I suppose you could even go as far as calling it insane. So many things went down, a lot of them probably won't be retold (ever). What's weird is that just over a week ago I blogged about just how boring weekends had become in Joburg. Granted, I've taken a fair bit of flak for the post. Bygones. Its not weird that I blogged about it, rather writing about how frustrated I was with the lack of interesting things to do on weekends seemed to make me want to do something different. Suffice to say, Friday was awesome.

What struck me this weekend is just how many Rhodes (and ex-Rhodes) people you're bound to bump into when you go out in Joburg. Seven on Friday night. Very cool.

Onward to Grahamstown...

If you leave, I won't cry
I won't waste a single day
But if you leave, don't look back
I'll be running the other way
If You Leave - Nada Surf: The OC Mix 2

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

A reason to smile (today and everyday)

Keeley Hazell, the perfect 10.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

The animatronic Pelé

Hardly anyone would be able to guess who Edson Arantes do Nascimento is. Do you know? Thought not.

Pelé (or Edson Arantes do Nascimento) is hero-worshipped the world-over, hell,
Wikipedia tells me he’s known as “O Rei do Futebol” (The King of Football).

The
New York Times, in a piece called “Trying, Again, to Turn Pelé Into Profits” provides some insight as to just how valuable his name is:

"The man, Édson, is 65, but Pelé as a character is 50," Paulo Ferreira, the chief operating officer of Prime, said last week in an interview, referring to Pelé's given name. "For the first time in his career, he is building a brand around his name. In the past, many of the things he did were not professional; he was always trying to do something with friends, but it wasn't good business for him."

“His worldwide appeal is similar to that of Muhammad Ali — Pelé is the greatest, but not The Greatest — but without the religious and political controversies.”

He’s wheeled out at every World Cup opening ceremony, at any important Fifa event. But, something’s been bothering me since this year’s opening ceremony: what is Fifa going to do when Pelé dies? Are they going to get the folk at Madame Tussaud's to fashion a wax model for them to wheel out when they need to? Or are we going to see an animatronic dummy of the man? Realistically I think we’ll get to watch grainy video clips with Fifa execs looking all misty-eyed when they talk about the world’s greatest ever footballer.

Some random Pelé facts (courtesy of
Wikipedia):
· In 1970, the two factions involved in the Nigerian Civil War agreed to a 48-hour ceasefire so they could watch Pelé play an exhibition game in Lagos.
· Pelé was the first sports figure featured in a video game with the Atari 2600 game Pelé's Soccer.
· After the World Cup in 1962, wealthy European clubs offered massive fees to sign the young player, but the government of Brazil declared Pelé an "official national treasure" to prevent him from being transferred out of the country.
· Pelé was one of the first black people to be featured on the cover of Life magazine.
· Pelé has presented trophies at the Brazilian Grand Prix race several times, but in 2002 he was waving the checkered flag to signify the end of the race and missed the race winner Michael Schumacher crossing the line.
· Tarcisio Burgnich, the famous Italian defender who marked Pelé in the 1970 World Cup Finals: "I told myself before the game, he's made of skin and bones just like everyone else — but I was wrong".

The more I see, the less I know
The more I like to let it go
People need the cover of another perfect wonder where it's so white as snow.
Finally divided by a word so undecided and there's nowhere to go
Snow (Hey Oh) Lyrics – Red Hot Chili Peppers: Stadium Arcadium

Monday, June 19, 2006

A change (for a change)

Just when I was bitching about how boring and routine life gets in Joburg, I have an awesome weekend. The main reason for the change in routine was Bel’s visit (she’s up here for a few days before flying back to the backwater farm that is Durban Airport).

What a cool weekend. Friday marked the return to the Bowling Club (after a lengthy absence). Very cool to watch Cote d’Ivoire trying to beat those damn dirty Dutch (how many ankles did they try to break during the game?). After that was missions to Nandos somewhere close to my work (I can never remember that area’s name). Melville followed. Now, I have never actually been out in Melville (most of you are going to harass me about that – I know it’ll happen). But now I can see myself chilling in Melville fairly often :) Like maybe once a week? Was also introduced to this astonishing place called Cat’s Pyjamas. Felt kinda like a tourist.

The weekend was filled with other random firsts – like my first visit to Cool Runnings, my first escape from having to go to Loaded, the return to Doppio Zero, a return to Cose della your mother (that funny restaurant) in Sandton.

Let me not get into a boring step-by-step account of three days of my life… but all in all, it was a great weekend.

Now to make it happen more often…

Been thinking about much randomness so I’ve got some cool posts coming this week (one a day ... remember that?).

And no matter how hard I try
I can't escape these things inside I know
When all the pieces fall apart
You will be the only one who knows
- Let me go, 3 Doors Down: Seventeen Days

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Who writes this crap?

Have you seen the new Vodacom ad? Now which cracked-up one-eyed toad of a copyrighter came up with the idea of using the Ghostbusters theme song and some random non-storyline about the stupid sleazy jewish pornstar and that black doctor who always calls 112? What the hell? The ad doesn’t mean anything. It doesn’t make me laugh. It doesn’t make me pay attention. There’s no plot. When it starts is my brain shuts off, and then I curse the fact that Vodacom’s millions are polluting our tv. I know it annoys you too.

We lost track of the time
Dreams aren't what they used to be
Some things slide by so carelessly
- Smile like you mean it, The Killers: Hot Fuss 2004

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Metro bastards

So I got fined R100 by our beloved JPMD (metro cops) a week or two ago. I was doing around 107km/h in a 100 zone. It was 9ish on a Sunday night.

Maybe you don’t see much wrong with this, but David Bullard pointed out in his column on Sunday that if you don’t stop at a STUPID Rosebank intersection (that really has no reason to have a stop street in the first place), you get greeted by a nice surly JPMD officer and a R500 fine. There is a lot wrong with the current metro cop system we have in place. In the mornings, I deliberately take a detour so that I miss this other big intersection in Rosebank – why? Cause the metro bastards are always there. Not stopping taxis or trucks spewing dangerous amounts of crap into the air – but pulling over you and I. For shit. Like not indicating that you’re changing lanes when there aren’t even lane markings to show that the damn lanes exist. Or for ‘driving dangerously’. What a cop out. No-one’s going to have the time to contest that, so what do we do? We pay them. So that they can reach their divisional revenue targets (yes – they have those). So that they can drive new Ford Focus STs or whatever the hell they drive. So that the deficit from non-payments at our dear municipality doesn’t look that bad.

Contrast this to a totally unrelated case but one where, if you do a bit of Chinese maths, you might find yourself a bit pissed off.

Some students got busted at Rhodes last year in their digs with drugs. After the whole argument about how much weed was found, how many pills, will they be excluded, etc, the case was dragged out and they eventually got ‘sentenced’ two weeks ago. The girl, who was in possession of 6 ecstacy pills got… A R500 FINE.

Same as not stopping at a RETARDED intersection in Rosebank. Or is it?

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Life in Joburg

So the predictions El made last year some time have come true.

In chatting about this year (back then it was ‘next’) during September 2005 we tried to figure out what life would be like living and working in Joburg.

El joked about how when we both had decent jobs, we’d spend the majority of our free time (on weekends) in malls and shopping centres.

He also said that we’d spend (waste?) most of our cash on new clothes, books and eating out. I dismissed these ideas. “No ways man – we’ll find cool stuff to do”.

And I was wrong. Totally and utterly misled.

He was spot on. It happens almost every weekend. We buy clothes. We buy books and (expensive) magazines. And we spend Saturdays in a mall – either in Centurion, or somewhere in Joburg (hell, sometimes we even go to Roodepoort).

Friday nights usually consist of a ‘visit’ to News Café or similar venue which serves large amounts of beer. Many a chilled Friday has been spent at Cobblestones at Monte.

At least its not bowling club, bowling club, bowling club Friday after Friday as was the case in December.

I’ve been thinking about what I spend weekends doing and thought that we should try and do more random type things. And fest is coming up which’ll be a nice change.

People have been asking me (both on the blog and off) to blog more often. I’m trying – but the past six weeks have been torridly hectic at work. Now that all of that is over, I can start doing stuff I enjoy again. So there will be more blogging. And I’ll post random stuff I write for Moneyweb on here every now and then (there's a column I wrote last week down there somewhere >> ).

Now (STILL) listening to: RHCP Stadium Arcadium Disc One (its been six weeks - non-stop!)

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Telkom, the beast with two faces

IRATE complainants about Telkom’s service receive a diabolical recorded message if they annoy call centre staff:

“If you did not call Telkom to do business,” the canned voice says, “take the time out to speak to a family member or a friend. You are denying someone else the opportunity to do so [deal with Telkom]. Please remember that these calls are recorded and can be traced.”

No problem resolution. No apology.

Fear not we are told, Telkom CEO Papi Molotsane is on a mission: to delight customers. Speaking on Moneyweb Radio after the release of the company’s results on Monday, Molotsane drove home the point.

He used the phrase “delight our customers” twice in the same answer. Later he even said that he was “delighted to be at the helm” of the company.

This is not the first time, however, that Molotsane has tried to explain his desire to delight customers.

In numerous interviews published by various media outlets in November last year, the use of the word delight was persistent. From: “We’ll have to delight our customers through impeccable service levels”, to: “We’ll have to come with innovative products that will delight our customers”.

His intentions are good, admirable even. Molotsane and his executive management team talk at length about their “five-pronged strategy”.

But, Molotsane also says “our customers can only be delighted if our employees are delighted … Focusing on employees is also in line with the company’s vision.” Herein lies the problem. The message from the man in charge is not filtering through.

Does Molotsane know that some line manager has instituted the outrageous insult to customers described above?

The insult could go to people trying their damnedest to find out why their phone was cut off for a debt of less that 10c – you’re “politely” disconnected and transferred to the recording.

In addition, some Telkom workers have told Moneyweb confidentially that employees were recently made to feel special with a bizarre internal marketing exercise. We have heard that certain “experts” found that employees seem to associate “Telkom blue” with unhappiness.

It seems that lobbies and office blocks are now filled with banners proclaiming boldly that Telkom cares about its employees, that it is employee-centric. The banners, you guessed it, are in Telkom blue – a move that seems to suggest that the experts want to sub-consciously associate the company’s corporate colours with warm and fuzzy feelings. Do you think this would make you feel better?

At the recent public Icasa hearings into ADSL pricing, Team Telkom used ten representatives to argue its case. Customers were there, watching as Telkom defiantly tried to stall the process using an advocate with, by his own admission, very little telecoms knowledge. Those that weren’t there read about these shenanigans and one can only imagine what they thought about our incumbent operator.

Among the arguments we heard for the high prices was that “copper is expensive”. I kid you not. IP resets for “billing reasons” every 24 hours was also absolutely “necessary” Telkom argued – the technology doesn’t exist “to allow us to bill without the reset”. No real explanation was given, in spite of evidence that overseas operators don’t reset users’ connections.

Why did Telkom pursue these seemingly stubborn arguments? It knew it was reducing prices barely two weeks later.

In order to share the company’s profits, employees participate in a scheme called gain sharing. Trade union Solidarity says that workers received between “3,39% and 9,89% of their salaries in the form of gain sharing in 2005”. There are reported rumblings among staff that the current system is unfair. Would fixing this bonus system help improve staff morale?

Admittedly, it is a tall order to preach the gospel of customer service to over 25 000 employees, but surely lower-level managers should realise that every time a consumer is burnt by someone in a call centre, they’ll be less likely to remain a Telkom customer.

But, for all the faults within Telkom, its leader Molotsane is commended for going on record last year admitting these difficulties.

“I think the problem that we have as an organisation is perhaps we’re not reaching out. We’re not talking to our clients. We’re not explaining to them what problems we have in our business … we need to just go and talk to our clients,” he’s said.

He’s hit the nail squarely on the head hasn’t he?

Now with talk of expansion into other African markets (Kenya, Nigeria and the like), we hope that the monopoly with two-faces continues its “drive” to delight us all.


* * *

Speaking of Nigeria, we stand by what we said a fortnight ago. It is easy to make money in Nigeria; however, what we failed to emphasise is that you need to take a few “shortcuts” here and there. There are companies from this country that are making cash in that market, but they may not be doing so legally.

It’s this that iTouch CEO Greg Brophy says is “tarnishing South Africa’s image abroad”. He is “absolutely annoyed” by the actions of players who take shortcuts and run “fly-by-night” Wasp (wireless application service provider) operations. iTouch, he says, plays by the book and there is of course no reason to dispute that. The company has a global presence and contractual partnerships with content providers worldwide.

Brophy says iTouch was “very, very careful” going in to Nigeria. He says the company worked closely with the South African embassy in Lagos to get the necessary advice and guidance management needed. Over and above the trickiness actually launching in Nigeria, Brophy is “very optimistic” about iTouch’s prospects.

The company has spent R4m on platforms up front and has a staff complement of 14 in Nigeria. Brophy intends setting up a formal association of Wasps in that country, similar to the one he helped set up in SA. He says this will protect the industry and the consumer.

With cellphone users in Nigeria set to double from last year’s figure of 18m to 36m in 2007, iTouch is well poised to grow its business there. Beyond Nigeria, he says, management is looking at entering markets in other African countries (iTouch SA also has the rights to Turkey).


This story first appeared in Moneyweb Business in the Citizen