BOb_school

resolutions and all that crap

2008-01-01T19:56:00.000+02:00

so i found my list of resolutions from last year this morning. not so much found, cause i knew where it was, maybe dug up is the word… thinking back, a fair amount of thought went into this last year. i hate the word resolution, but having gone through this process once (and only once in my life), it actually kinda works. mainly cause there’s something written down somewhere that forces you to follow through…

most of these are done/being done and those that aren’t will probably get carried through to 2008...

1. get fit
done. but having done my hamstrings some slight injury this past weekend, i guess one can always be a bit fitter

2. buy a car
done. on january 17th, in fact. but i might (already) upgrade, depends on the finances though. but, i might yet get that scrambler i want…

3. get a bike
uhhh, not done. come to think of it, a bike would’ve been very handy this morning when i took my car in to get fixed… i should look into that.

4. play golf
uhhh, also not done. but we moved a bit further away from the driving range (that was literally about 400m from our old house). end of jan means time to buy our drivers though…

5. smoke on weekends/when out only
done. and then some. haven’t smoked in a year. well make that 364 days. a full year on jan 2nd. been tempted twice this year though…

6. jog
done. in fact more than done. made friends with richard branson’s house of pain… fun times…

7. make shirts
uhhh, not done. which is a problem… must make shirts, too many good ideas to go to waste on a pc somewhere…

8. launch a site or two
technically done. tycoon launched in july plus i had a bit of fun with thenewnewmedia.com (felt like the right time to blog about what i blogged about there)… tycoon will hopefully get the attention it deserves in 2008, still not sure what i want to do with thenewnewmedia.com… i didn’t complete what i wanted to though… got a plan coming together with a mate for early 2008

9. go to the berg
uhhh, not so much. got to go to india though. and hopefully will visit sun city soon enough. mozambique is a plan for easter… and south korea is definitely on for end april… berg might fit in this winter, not too sure about fest…

10. pay off *that* loan
technically done, but practically not so much. i guess we’ll see…

i also managed to do lots of stuff that wasn’t on this list, stuff which (now when I think back about it) was unexpected and cool :)

as for 2008… i’ve decided i’m not going to post the list, that’ll make following through too easy… that said, maybe the focus this year will be less on buying stuff… things…

BOb_school is...

2007-12-20T11:26:00.001+02:00

I’ve been thinking a lot about how mediated our state of mind and emotions have become with Facebook now pretty much at the centre of how we communicate with friends. (The scary thing is that Microsoft Word capitalised Facebook for me when I typed that.) The Facebook status update (which has finally lost the “is”) has become almost utterly pervasive.

What intrigues me though is how it’s become some sort of narcissistic, post-modern reflection of how we are feeling. Take a step back and think for a second. Before Facebook, would we have constantly written/spoken about ourselves in the third person? Am I the only one perturbed by this?

But it feels good, doesn’t it. To be able to broadcast to your friends (i.e. pretty much the world) exactly what you want them to know (or not know).

And just in case you’re wondering…

Hilton is over it, determined to stare down his old nemesis despondency ...
and he knows he’ll find a solution to this all...

Gary Kirsten is NOT yet another loss to South African cricket

2007-11-28T07:54:00.000+02:00

On the news last night, we were ‘treated’ to a bizarre comparison of Bob Woolmer, Kevin Pietersen and Allan Donald. And yes, Gary Kirsten is off to coach India (after an official BCCI announcement, of course).

On and on the reporter went…

“Another loss to SA cricket.”
“Yet another loss.”
“Our finest leaving for foreign shores.”

Give me a break.

Firstly, who cares about Kevin Pietersen?!
Allan Donald is no longer bowling coach for England (he turned the job down).
Bob Woolmer was a different class altogether.

Gary Kirsten is not currently coaching. Well, he coaches at his academy – but that’s hardly a top level position.

He has been a batting consultant to the SA team at some point, and most recently has helped the Warriors as a batting coach.

Talk about now hitting the big time.

Who cares that he’s leaving? Good on him. Good on SA cricket for producing (nurturing?) such talent.

There’s only place for one national coach in SA, why should all our talent sit around and wait for that position to be vacant?

I needed to get that off my chest.

My top 20 movies

2007-11-26T15:38:00.000+02:00

Its taken a while, but its settled (after a long Sunday night). The top 20, in order...

The Boondock Saints
Good Will Hunting
Pulp Fiction
Fight Club
Boiler Room
The Departed
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels
Romeo + Juliet
Seven

Sin City
Requiem for a Dream
Finding Forrester
Payback
Once Upon a Time in Mexico
Independence Day
Snatch
Ronin
Anchorman
Casino Royale

Making someone happy

2007-11-14T11:01:00.000+02:00

So I had my first encounter with Eskom’s load-shedding last night. We decided that finding food was necessary and wandered around northern Joburg (mostly in darkness) until we found the beacon of light that is Monte Casino.

Spur it was, and quite an inspired choice too. We had the best service ever from a dude called David (from one of these franchise type restaurants ie. not a five star two waiters per person scenario). And I decided to be unselfish (for a change) and reward the good service with a huge tip. A 60% tip or thereabouts on a pretty decent bill.

And that pretty much made David’s day. We had left but turned around to see him high-fiving the other waiters, smiling broadly. Was I hoping for some twisted sense of self-gratification? I don’t know? Did I do it to make myself feel good? Not when I first decided it… but then it became kind of a bonus…

Oh yes, bob_school is back… long story, but I kinda need somewhere to write crap like this.

Pack up the caravan kids, we're moving...

2007-04-12T08:15:00.000+02:00

BOb_school is dead. Kinda.
Long live www.thenewnewmedia.com

:)

What was the Sunday Times thinking?

2006-11-22T12:38:00.000+02:00

That grand old dame of Sunday newspapers which desperately wants to be a tabloid - the Sunday Times - has had (another) nip and tuck this week.

We now have the “luxury” of a stand-alone sports section. What they forgot to mention was that it’d be a tabloid and as tight as a stingy uncle.

Previously, sport was “appended” to the back of the ‘Insight & Opinion’ section, a phenomenon that seems to be unique to South African newspapers. Most papers in the US and the UK have stand-alone sports sections.

The promotions started a month ago, with adverts trumpeting that “finally” sport was going to get the attention it deserved – in its own section.

It would be worth comparing sport (and soccer) before the change before one realizes what has been lost (or gained?).

On October 8, ‘Sport Sunday’ (which is (was?) a very catchy name), ran from page 23 to 32. Now that’s not to say there was 10 pages of sports content. With two full page adverts and tons of other advertising, content took up about five and a half to six (broadsheet) pages worth (12 tabloid).

Soccer Life (which was previously found in the middle of the ‘Metro’ section, ran to 12 pages. Advertising support for this supplement, which its sales execs will have you believe has the “most reach” out of any section in the paper, has hardly been noticeable, save for men’s enlargement-type and cellphone ringtone ads. I have always felt that there has been a bit too much space for the section, with lengthly double-page features and huge (A4 size) pictures commonplace. Remove the poster front page from the equation, the one-or-two ads as well as the two full-page Sunday Times promotional adverts and you’re left with eight pages of content (including that enormous photo).

Now we have the bizarrely named ‘Soccer Life & Sport’ which, as Matthew Buckland writes, is disjointed. He suggests that because soccer is a type of sport, we should have something along the lines of ‘Sport & Soccer Life’. Typographically, the word ‘SPORT’ in all-caps seems to have been added to fill space on the poster cover.

The back is also a poster-type page, and the regular ads which were found in Soccer Life have found new homes throughout the new tabloid. Soccer, soccer and more soccer takes the focus until page 13 of the 24-pager. In the editor’s note in this week’s debut edition, one finds this gem: “We hope you aren’t confused by the amalgamation … it … offers you more sport … with the accent on local and overseas soccer.”

Almost as an afterthought, he writes: “But there a healthy rugby presence … and there’s some good cricket, too”. For “healthy”, substitute “three pages”. Ditto for “some good cricket”.

So we have 12 pages of soccer, a quarter of that of rugby and another quarter of cricket. One page of tennis, one of tv highlights and two pages of squashed-up results and statistics complete the “package”.

Don’t get me wrong – I am an avid soccer fan… What confuses me is the fact that with so many Sunday titles and Monday papers cemented in the soccer-crazed market (think City Press, Sunday Sun, Sunday World, Monday’s Daily Sun, Sowetan), just what is the Sunday Times doing?

Still no full-page ads to be seen though, which may be a blessing in disguise – lest that precious rugby/cricket content be cut down even further. At least the transition seems to have been done almost page for page (based on the 12-page Soccer Life, and 12 tabloid-pages worth of normal sport).

The paper has also reduced its advertising space – hardly a clever move. There’s no more space for lucrative 15cm strips spanning the length of the broadsheet backpage – a spot Nashua Mobile had pretty much staked out. The 10cm strip on the back of the tabloid hardly has the same effect (or revenue!).

They took a really nice, fresh, magazine-inspired design which used to have a home in the old ‘Soccer Life’ and forced it together with the Sunday Times main body style sheet.

One’s not too sure what the “Times” is trying to achieve with its “Soccer Life” brand. Its magazine title, which started off the obsession, is hardly a sales blockbuster.

There also seems to be a desperation for feedback (any feedback) from readers. At every turn, one is confronted by (what some sub-editor thought are witty) blurbs, asking, no, pleading you to (please!) e-mail the Sunday Times.

My hunch, and at this stage its simply a hunch, is that many more sections within the Times will become tabloid in the months or years to come. The main paper won’t change from broadsheet though, or there’d be nothing to wrap all the advertising supplements in – a la Saturday Star. Careers could very well soon become tabloid, as could the opinion (or what it calls “News & Opinion’) section. The off-on ‘News & Review’ (what’s the difference?!) may downsize as there’s no real reason for it to be broadsheet.

It’s worth noting that out of all the supplements the Sunday Times has launched over the past few years (Food & travel, New York Times, It’s my business), none have been broadsheet.

Coincidence?

'This store will close at 4pm today for stocktaking'

2006-09-07T12:11:00.000+02:00

“Can we climb this mountain, I don’t know… Higher now than ever before, I know we can make it if we take it slow” – When you were young, The Killers

I’ve had lots to say but not that much time to say it in the past three months… but instead of trying to tell all the funny/sad/boring/ridiculous stories, I thought I’d rather do some kind of stock take. This will (hopefully), at the very least, be kind of interesting and (here’s hoping) it’ll give me a kick in the ass to do/start certain things.

A good few people have been sadly disappointed when they’ve checked this blog every few days (wishful thinking, more like weeks), hoping that something besides Keeley Hazell is on the screen. Oops. And she’s not even the girl who was supposed to be there (as the ‘almost a perfect 10 girl’)… Long story that…

Work. The inevitable conversation-starter. ‘How’s work?’ has got to be one of the most overused openers ever. Its followed, of course, by the predictable ‘Fine’. Which really doesn’t mean all that much. Or anything at all. But yeah, work is fine. ‘Challenging yet comfortably routine’ is perhaps the best description of it (I feel like I’m putting a house for sale ad together).

I’m getting to write a bit more nowadays (which may explain why this post is in slightly better English than even I’m used to). Work’s not quite the be-all and end-all though, and I guess anyone who’s starting out spends quite a while trying to almost divorce yourself from work so that weekends are weekends and weeknights can be spent watching whatever crap is on DStv (or partying, depending on the day).

I know I bitched and moaned about the almost routine weekends I had been having. Festival may have changed that, or simply writing about my frustration may have changed that… and I can confidently say that weekends are no longer boring.

I’m trying to catch up on reading. I have about six or seven unopened books which is a problem, because I’ve got at least another three on my Kalahari.net wishlist.

I still haven’t started Gumede’s book on Thabo Mbeki and the ANC (I got that for Christmas, and as I sit on my bed typing this – I can’t see the book in my pile… shite), I scored the follow-up to Beckham’s autobiography (something about him going to Spain) for less than R40… I’ve lent Liar’s Poker from someone at work (its supposed to be brilliant), I got the Anthony Kiedis autobiog for my birthday this past weekend and I’m trying to finish something called ‘The Game’ - the less said about that book, the better :)

Random thought: which reminds me, the Gumede book might be in a box in my cupboard.

The reading doesn’t quite always take first priority because of a fairly sizeable collection of South Park episodes, movies and other DVDs (oh yes, and DStv).

***

El and my (uhum, we’ll call it ‘long-awaited’) t-shirt company is finally taking its first few steps in getting off the ground (how many more bad clichés can you get in a sentence?). We’ve got quotes from a few places (yip we can be all business-like) and we spent a random Friday night a while back creating some sort of catalogue in Excel of all our designs… It came to well over 100 (I’m too lazy to check now), of which around 20 are ready to be made tomorrow… But not quite. We’ll get there… someday soon.

If all goes according to plan, I should be the satisfied new owner of one of these by next month :) (this is one of my missions at the mo)

***

No news on the girl front (but if there was it probably wouldn’t have been a secret anyway). This (you’re thinking to yourself) is probably good news, judging by some past experiences. Stumbled across one or two interesting girls on various nights out, but on some of those occasions there’s been this moment of realization where I’ve thought something along the lines of: ‘what a second, this chick is random/doff/(insert cynical description here), why the hell have I just spent the last 5/10/30/45 minutes talking to her?’

***

I was driving home one night last week (after a slightly hectic night out) – I think it may have been a Tuesday? – and found myself thinking that I really love living here. I enjoy the people I work with, I enjoy what I’m doing (its pretty much a dream job, for now anyway – if there ever was such a thing), I enjoy partying when I party, at this point in my life, I just enjoy being.

Pretty hectic that.

The few moments were kind of like this:
(Driving on the M1, around 1 in the morning, in some weirdly philosophical mood) Where am I in my life right now? > quickly weigh up different options in my head > result, mmm… I think I’m happy > actually, I’m really happy > content. A much better word… (thinking, thinking, change lane, thinking)…. Mmm > FUCK! What’s just happened to me? This is bizarre… It feels like I’m in some deep, meaningful drama… Fuck. (that was the extent of the freakout)

And it has (in way) been bugging me over the past few days. But hey, I doubt I’ll be content for the next month, hell, even the next few days. Bloody weird, nonetheless...

***

Stuff I’ve been listening to over the past few weeks:

Tracks
Why you wanna – TI
Ridin – Chamillionaire (www dot C.-H.-A.-Millionaire dot com… that kills me every time I hear the start of the track)
When you were young - The Killers
Rooftops - Lost Prophets
You gonna want me - Tiga
In the air tonight – Nonpoint (Hardish rock + Phil Collins – it works, strangely)
Kick push – Lupe Fiasco
Promiscuous – Nelly Furtado ft Timbaland (its got Timbaland in it, dammit)

Albums:
Hot fuss – The Killers
Stadium Arcadium – RHCP (yes, STILL on disc one, haven’t even got to the second cd)
A fever you can’t sweat out - Panic! At the Disco
(I own all three (actual) albums – a record company’s wet dream… ‘Kids, now piracy’s bad. Mmkay?’)

And I listened to a scary amount of Phil Collins now the other night… can’t believe I just admitted to that…

***

Did I mention that I sat and wrote this post on a MacBook Pro :) What a sweet deal… It’s the company’s but what the hell, I get to use it…

Oh yes, and I’ve started the great mission to get fit once again (complete with a morning jog, pressups, and (soon…) back to swimming).

Also get to take off a weekend at the end of the month and spend some time drinking (chilling) or should that be the other way round? in Gtown…

(And so ends the longest blog post ever. On this blog anyway. Fucking hell, over 1100 words, shite…)

***

And I will try and blog more often (I can sense your skepticism, but then again, I’d doubt myself too if I kept promising myself that I’ll blog – you know what I mean…)

“They say the devil’s water, it ain’t so sweet… you don’t have to drink right now… but you can dip your feet, every once in a… little while…”

And so... the Fest is near

2006-06-26T14:31:00.000+02:00

It's almost time to bugger off and head to festival.

I won't lie, I've been waiting for the 27th for about the past two months - like a kid waiting for school holidays... It's a great feeling. The templates are done. My desk is tidy (two neat piles of paper), hell - I've even deleted most of the kak shortcuts on my desktop. Tonight will mean packing and then the early start tomorrow.

This past weekend was crazy. I suppose you could even go as far as calling it insane. So many things went down, a lot of them probably won't be retold (ever). What's weird is that just over a week ago I blogged about just how boring weekends had become in Joburg. Granted, I've taken a fair bit of flak for the post. Bygones. Its not weird that I blogged about it, rather writing about how frustrated I was with the lack of interesting things to do on weekends seemed to make me want to do something different. Suffice to say, Friday was awesome.

What struck me this weekend is just how many Rhodes (and ex-Rhodes) people you're bound to bump into when you go out in Joburg. Seven on Friday night. Very cool.

Onward to Grahamstown...

If you leave, I won't cry
I won't waste a single day
But if you leave, don't look back
I'll be running the other way
If You Leave - Nada Surf: The OC Mix 2

A reason to smile (today and everyday)

2006-06-21T16:56:00.000+02:00

Keeley Hazell, the perfect 10.

The animatronic Pelé

2006-06-20T15:29:00.000+02:00

Hardly anyone would be able to guess who Edson Arantes do Nascimento is. Do you know? Thought not.

Pelé (or Edson Arantes do Nascimento) is hero-worshipped the world-over, hell, Wikipedia tells me he’s known as “O Rei do Futebol” (The King of Football).

The New York Times, in a piece called “Trying, Again, to Turn Pelé Into Profits” provides some insight as to just how valuable his name is:

"The man, Édson, is 65, but Pelé as a character is 50," Paulo Ferreira, the chief operating officer of Prime, said last week in an interview, referring to Pelé's given name. "For the first time in his career, he is building a brand around his name. In the past, many of the things he did were not professional; he was always trying to do something with friends, but it wasn't good business for him."

“His worldwide appeal is similar to that of Muhammad Ali — Pelé is the greatest, but not The Greatest — but without the religious and political controversies.”

He’s wheeled out at every World Cup opening ceremony, at any important Fifa event. But, something’s been bothering me since this year’s opening ceremony: what is Fifa going to do when Pelé dies? Are they going to get the folk at Madame Tussaud's to fashion a wax model for them to wheel out when they need to? Or are we going to see an animatronic dummy of the man? Realistically I think we’ll get to watch grainy video clips with Fifa execs looking all misty-eyed when they talk about the world’s greatest ever footballer.

Some random Pelé facts (courtesy of Wikipedia):
· In 1970, the two factions involved in the Nigerian Civil War agreed to a 48-hour ceasefire so they could watch Pelé play an exhibition game in Lagos.
· Pelé was the first sports figure featured in a video game with the Atari 2600 game Pelé's Soccer.
· After the World Cup in 1962, wealthy European clubs offered massive fees to sign the young player, but the government of Brazil declared Pelé an "official national treasure" to prevent him from being transferred out of the country.
· Pelé was one of the first black people to be featured on the cover of Life magazine.
· Pelé has presented trophies at the Brazilian Grand Prix race several times, but in 2002 he was waving the checkered flag to signify the end of the race and missed the race winner Michael Schumacher crossing the line.
· Tarcisio Burgnich, the famous Italian defender who marked Pelé in the 1970 World Cup Finals: "I told myself before the game, he's made of skin and bones just like everyone else — but I was wrong".

The more I see, the less I know
The more I like to let it go
People need the cover of another perfect wonder where it's so white as snow.
Finally divided by a word so undecided and there's nowhere to go
Snow (Hey Oh) Lyrics – Red Hot Chili Peppers: Stadium Arcadium

A change (for a change)

2006-06-19T14:57:00.000+02:00

Just when I was bitching about how boring and routine life gets in Joburg, I have an awesome weekend. The main reason for the change in routine was Bel’s visit (she’s up here for a few days before flying back to the backwater farm that is Durban Airport).

What a cool weekend. Friday marked the return to the Bowling Club (after a lengthy absence). Very cool to watch Cote d’Ivoire trying to beat those damn dirty Dutch (how many ankles did they try to break during the game?). After that was missions to Nandos somewhere close to my work (I can never remember that area’s name). Melville followed. Now, I have never actually been out in Melville (most of you are going to harass me about that – I know it’ll happen). But now I can see myself chilling in Melville fairly often :) Like maybe once a week? Was also introduced to this astonishing place called Cat’s Pyjamas. Felt kinda like a tourist.

The weekend was filled with other random firsts – like my first visit to Cool Runnings, my first escape from having to go to Loaded, the return to Doppio Zero, a return to Cose della your mother (that funny restaurant) in Sandton.

Let me not get into a boring step-by-step account of three days of my life… but all in all, it was a great weekend.

Now to make it happen more often…

Been thinking about much randomness so I’ve got some cool posts coming this week (one a day ... remember that?).

And no matter how hard I try
I can't escape these things inside I know
When all the pieces fall apart
You will be the only one who knows
- Let me go, 3 Doors Down: Seventeen Days

Who writes this crap?

2006-06-15T15:30:00.000+02:00

Have you seen the new Vodacom ad? Now which cracked-up one-eyed toad of a copyrighter came up with the idea of using the Ghostbusters theme song and some random non-storyline about the stupid sleazy jewish pornstar and that black doctor who always calls 112? What the hell? The ad doesn’t mean anything. It doesn’t make me laugh. It doesn’t make me pay attention. There’s no plot. When it starts is my brain shuts off, and then I curse the fact that Vodacom’s millions are polluting our tv. I know it annoys you too.

We lost track of the time
Dreams aren't what they used to be
Some things slide by so carelessly
- Smile like you mean it, The Killers: Hot Fuss 2004

Metro bastards

2006-06-14T11:41:00.000+02:00

So I got fined R100 by our beloved JPMD (metro cops) a week or two ago. I was doing around 107km/h in a 100 zone. It was 9ish on a Sunday night.

Maybe you don’t see much wrong with this, but David Bullard pointed out in his column on Sunday that if you don’t stop at a STUPID Rosebank intersection (that really has no reason to have a stop street in the first place), you get greeted by a nice surly JPMD officer and a R500 fine. There is a lot wrong with the current metro cop system we have in place. In the mornings, I deliberately take a detour so that I miss this other big intersection in Rosebank – why? Cause the metro bastards are always there. Not stopping taxis or trucks spewing dangerous amounts of crap into the air – but pulling over you and I. For shit. Like not indicating that you’re changing lanes when there aren’t even lane markings to show that the damn lanes exist. Or for ‘driving dangerously’. What a cop out. No-one’s going to have the time to contest that, so what do we do? We pay them. So that they can reach their divisional revenue targets (yes – they have those). So that they can drive new Ford Focus STs or whatever the hell they drive. So that the deficit from non-payments at our dear municipality doesn’t look that bad.

Contrast this to a totally unrelated case but one where, if you do a bit of Chinese maths, you might find yourself a bit pissed off.

Some students got busted at Rhodes last year in their digs with drugs. After the whole argument about how much weed was found, how many pills, will they be excluded, etc, the case was dragged out and they eventually got ‘sentenced’ two weeks ago. The girl, who was in possession of 6 ecstacy pills got… A R500 FINE.

Same as not stopping at a RETARDED intersection in Rosebank. Or is it?

Life in Joburg

2006-06-13T11:08:00.000+02:00

So the predictions El made last year some time have come true.

In chatting about this year (back then it was ‘next’) during September 2005 we tried to figure out what life would be like living and working in Joburg.

El joked about how when we both had decent jobs, we’d spend the majority of our free time (on weekends) in malls and shopping centres.

He also said that we’d spend (waste?) most of our cash on new clothes, books and eating out. I dismissed these ideas. “No ways man – we’ll find cool stuff to do”.

And I was wrong. Totally and utterly misled.

He was spot on. It happens almost every weekend. We buy clothes. We buy books and (expensive) magazines. And we spend Saturdays in a mall – either in Centurion, or somewhere in Joburg (hell, sometimes we even go to Roodepoort).

Friday nights usually consist of a ‘visit’ to News Café or similar venue which serves large amounts of beer. Many a chilled Friday has been spent at Cobblestones at Monte.

At least its not bowling club, bowling club, bowling club Friday after Friday as was the case in December.

I’ve been thinking about what I spend weekends doing and thought that we should try and do more random type things. And fest is coming up which’ll be a nice change.

People have been asking me (both on the blog and off) to blog more often. I’m trying – but the past six weeks have been torridly hectic at work. Now that all of that is over, I can start doing stuff I enjoy again. So there will be more blogging. And I’ll post random stuff I write for Moneyweb on here every now and then (there's a column I wrote last week down there somewhere >> ).

Now (STILL) listening to: RHCP Stadium Arcadium Disc One (its been six weeks - non-stop!)

Telkom, the beast with two faces

2006-06-08T08:00:00.000+02:00

IRATE complainants about Telkom’s service receive a diabolical recorded message if they annoy call centre staff:

“If you did not call Telkom to do business,” the canned voice says, “take the time out to speak to a family member or a friend. You are denying someone else the opportunity to do so [deal with Telkom]. Please remember that these calls are recorded and can be traced.”

No problem resolution. No apology.

Fear not we are told, Telkom CEO Papi Molotsane is on a mission: to delight customers. Speaking on Moneyweb Radio after the release of the company’s results on Monday, Molotsane drove home the point.

He used the phrase “delight our customers” twice in the same answer. Later he even said that he was “delighted to be at the helm” of the company.

This is not the first time, however, that Molotsane has tried to explain his desire to delight customers.

In numerous interviews published by various media outlets in November last year, the use of the word delight was persistent. From: “We’ll have to delight our customers through impeccable service levels”, to: “We’ll have to come with innovative products that will delight our customers”.

His intentions are good, admirable even. Molotsane and his executive management team talk at length about their “five-pronged strategy”.

But, Molotsane also says “our customers can only be delighted if our employees are delighted … Focusing on employees is also in line with the company’s vision.” Herein lies the problem. The message from the man in charge is not filtering through.

Does Molotsane know that some line manager has instituted the outrageous insult to customers described above?

The insult could go to people trying their damnedest to find out why their phone was cut off for a debt of less that 10c – you’re “politely” disconnected and transferred to the recording.

In addition, some Telkom workers have told Moneyweb confidentially that employees were recently made to feel special with a bizarre internal marketing exercise. We have heard that certain “experts” found that employees seem to associate “Telkom blue” with unhappiness.

It seems that lobbies and office blocks are now filled with banners proclaiming boldly that Telkom cares about its employees, that it is employee-centric. The banners, you guessed it, are in Telkom blue – a move that seems to suggest that the experts want to sub-consciously associate the company’s corporate colours with warm and fuzzy feelings. Do you think this would make you feel better?

At the recent public Icasa hearings into ADSL pricing, Team Telkom used ten representatives to argue its case. Customers were there, watching as Telkom defiantly tried to stall the process using an advocate with, by his own admission, very little telecoms knowledge. Those that weren’t there read about these shenanigans and one can only imagine what they thought about our incumbent operator.

Among the arguments we heard for the high prices was that “copper is expensive”. I kid you not. IP resets for “billing reasons” every 24 hours was also absolutely “necessary” Telkom argued – the technology doesn’t exist “to allow us to bill without the reset”. No real explanation was given, in spite of evidence that overseas operators don’t reset users’ connections.

Why did Telkom pursue these seemingly stubborn arguments? It knew it was reducing prices barely two weeks later.

In order to share the company’s profits, employees participate in a scheme called gain sharing. Trade union Solidarity says that workers received between “3,39% and 9,89% of their salaries in the form of gain sharing in 2005”. There are reported rumblings among staff that the current system is unfair. Would fixing this bonus system help improve staff morale?

Admittedly, it is a tall order to preach the gospel of customer service to over 25 000 employees, but surely lower-level managers should realise that every time a consumer is burnt by someone in a call centre, they’ll be less likely to remain a Telkom customer.

But, for all the faults within Telkom, its leader Molotsane is commended for going on record last year admitting these difficulties.

“I think the problem that we have as an organisation is perhaps we’re not reaching out. We’re not talking to our clients. We’re not explaining to them what problems we have in our business … we need to just go and talk to our clients,” he’s said.

He’s hit the nail squarely on the head hasn’t he?

Now with talk of expansion into other African markets (Kenya, Nigeria and the like), we hope that the monopoly with two-faces continues its “drive” to delight us all.

* * *

Speaking of Nigeria, we stand by what we said a fortnight ago. It is easy to make money in Nigeria; however, what we failed to emphasise is that you need to take a few “shortcuts” here and there. There are companies from this country that are making cash in that market, but they may not be doing so legally.

It’s this that iTouch CEO Greg Brophy says is “tarnishing South Africa’s image abroad”. He is “absolutely annoyed” by the actions of players who take shortcuts and run “fly-by-night” Wasp (wireless application service provider) operations. iTouch, he says, plays by the book and there is of course no reason to dispute that. The company has a global presence and contractual partnerships with content providers worldwide.

Brophy says iTouch was “very, very careful” going in to Nigeria. He says the company worked closely with the South African embassy in Lagos to get the necessary advice and guidance management needed. Over and above the trickiness actually launching in Nigeria, Brophy is “very optimistic” about iTouch’s prospects.

The company has spent R4m on platforms up front and has a staff complement of 14 in Nigeria. Brophy intends setting up a formal association of Wasps in that country, similar to the one he helped set up in SA. He says this will protect the industry and the consumer.

With cellphone users in Nigeria set to double from last year’s figure of 18m to 36m in 2007, iTouch is well poised to grow its business there. Beyond Nigeria, he says, management is looking at entering markets in other African countries (iTouch SA also has the rights to Turkey).

This story first appeared in Moneyweb Business in the Citizen

Who are you? Where have you been? Where are you going? - David Beckham, 2003

2006-04-26T10:05:00.000+02:00

They say things can change in an instant. Perhaps thinking about this could be seen as somewhat ironic after watching (what was probably) the season climax of Prison Break. Lincoln is about to get the chair and after all the promises of him maybe being pardoned, him getting off on some technicality, something going wrong with the process – as the episode ended last night, we realized that all those possibilities, all the faint flickers of hope turned out to be bullshit. Some things are inevitable, however much we want them not to be. This might not be the best illustration of what I’m trying to put in writing because, thanks to some conditioning, we’ve come to bloody well expect these cliffhangers from TV shows, and Lincoln will probably get off next week. Or the week after that.
I guess, though, that the blow gets softened when the ‘unpleasant news’ that you know is unavoidable takes forever to materialize. You know that it’s going to happen, but everyone around you continues acting as if nothing’s going to change and that it’ll all be okay in the end. It will, in some respects. But this thing happens, and you know things will be different from now on. But weren’t they always going to be? At this stage of one’s life, when there’s so much potential, so many opportunities to grow, to develop ideas, to forge a career, to make some extra money here and there, to be happy, to cultivate friendships… what is there to be bleak about? Sure, from time to time you do receive news that’s negative but it’s at those times that you find yourself stepping back for a second and having those all-too rare moments of ‘me’ time – when you balance out all the promise that the month and year ahead hold with whatever ‘bad news’ you’ve received.

As for me I'll be ok.

Yes – this is me getting deep.
Yes – it’s been a while.
Yes – I have a good reason to do so.
No – this is not about a girl.
No – it’s not something that earth shattering.
No – my brother’s not getting the electric chair (that’s me being full of shit right there)
No – you’re not supposed to have been able to figure it out from what you’ve just read. I suppose you’ll eventually find out when the moment is right. Or I might just blurt out the ‘bad news’ when I next see you.
And no – I’m not all depro and about to jump in front of a train – I’ve dealt with most of this ages ago.
(And as an aside, I’m pretty impressed with just how deep I got there, having just reread the stream of consciousness)

Four

2006-03-26T18:05:00.000+02:00

For a change, something cool I found while reading Jeremy Zawdony's blog a while back.

Basically you give four answers to things which'll (maybe?) provide people with some insight into how you work/think/relax.

Four jobs I've had in my life:
Newspaper sub/layout/designer
Journ dept lackey
Event management
Barman

Four movies I can watch over and over:
Finding Forrester
Training Day
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
Ronin

Four TV shows I love to watch:
Prison Break
Six Feet Under
The OC
One Tree Hill

Four of my favourite songs at the moment:
Move along – All American Rejects
Pharell Williams ft Gwen Stefani – Can I have it like that
Jamie Foxx ft Kanye West – Extravaganza
T-Pain – In love with a stripper

Four places I've been on vacation:
South Coast
Jeffrey’s Bay
Sun City
Cape Town

Four of my favorite dishes:
Pizza
Lasagne
Steak and chips
Macaroni cheese

Four websites I visit daily:
John Battelle’s weblog
The Huffington Post
Paid Content
Moneyweb.co.za (I work there, c’mon!)

Four places I would rather be right now:
Mexico
At home watching TV
The Netherlands
UK (I wanna see what all the fuss is about)

On a totally unrelated tangent, I’ve been meaning to blog about 'Syriana' since LAST Monday. And that damn public holiday just messed up most of my plans for this week. Should finish a post later tonight about that movie and 'V for Vendetta' which I saw on Saturday. Hold thumbs...

There are no words...

2006-03-13T11:45:00.000+02:00

It was about more than just a win...
I searched Technorati last night for "South Africa Australia cricket" and there were already quite a few blog posts up about how we gave the Aussies stick.
The thing though was that, over and above beating our arch nemisis, these kind of victories give our whole country a boost.
One of the Sabc commentators said that the atmosphere at the Bullring was like a 'World Cup final'. Yesterday we spoke in the office about this being like the 1995 Rugby World Cup. A very unexpected thing happened after the game. Cars and taxis were hooting like crazy and at the intersection outside our building, cars stopped at the robot, people jumped out running and waving flags. There were taxis full of people cheering, complete strangers were high-fiving each other. 1995, indeed.
Looking at the crowd at the match during the part that I got to see and on the highlights last night, I couldn't help getting that clichéd warm and fuzzy feeling. There was an entire nation (a representative nation) watching that match, cheering us on.
And we needed this. We've got a power 'crisis' in the Cape. Jacob Zuma and his army of blind followers have been causing chaos in the centre of Joburg. Today marks the start of a huge Transnet strike which is going to dent our economy. Three of our five teams in the Super 14 are playing like kak.
But, for one day, just for one day we got to forget about all of that. We got to forget about the potholes in the roads. We got to forget about the fact that Cape Town still doesn't have a mayor. And that the ANC still hasn't told us who most of the country's mayors are going to be.

There is statisical evidence that our success on the sports field affects the confindence in our country, and consequently our economy. Witness 1995. Witness when we won the 2010 World Cup bid. I really hope this lasts...

As an aside, its been ages since we've seen SA not choke at the death - in fact, the last time was probably back in Hansie and Kepler's days. And Boucher proved yesterday that we don't have to mess up under pressure. And how cool was it to see my man Roger playing like a champ again?

Chuck's back... not that he ever went away

2006-03-09T13:13:00.000+02:00

You know its a slow news day when the Washington Post writes a story about Chuck Norris facts...

At the moment, the 65-year-old martial-arts master is the object of a kind of sardonic cult veneration. Conan O'Brien, on his late-night show, has been airing vintage "Walker" clips for months. CollegeHumor, a Web site popular among the dorm set, regularly links to all things Norris on the Internet (recent entry: a rare photo of Norris sans beard). Norris popped up in a cameo in "Dodgeball" two summers ago, and in a two-hour "Walker" movie in October, which drew respectable ratings. Most intriguing, and certainly most amusing, has been the grass-fire spread of Chuck Norris "facts," a series of Paul Bunyanesque exaggerations riffing on (and amplifying) the Legend of Chuck.

This is some awesome shit...

Why can't The Star write about stuff like this? Oh yeah... wait cause its a kak newspaper

Tough Love: Norris Fans Board the Chuck Wagon (WPost)

A question or thirteen

2006-03-08T13:34:00.000+02:00

Why is Backstage still on tv?
Why is 5fm planning to ruin my morning with Gareth Cliff on breakfast?
Why do I see at least one accident on the way to work every day?
Why didn’t we get DStv sooner?
Why has SL Magazine gone to shit?
Why is Rhodes launching an alumni magazine?
Why are 99% of radio shows formulaic and boring?
Why didn’t I discover Ricky Gervais sooner?
Why do people drive four blocks from their offices to the mall at lunch?
Why are they cleaning our building’s windows for the second time in a month when they hadn’t cleaned them for four months prior to that?
Why have all Isidingo’s writers seemingly started taking crack?
Why can’t someone in SA launch a decent legal online music service (Musica downloads suck!)?

Why don’t I blog more often?

A quick list

2006-03-07T14:06:00.000+02:00

Thank you e.tv for having enough sense to buy Six Feet Under and also for having the conviction to continue serving it up for us, even if ratings (most probably) aren't that high. It really is gratifying to watch something once a week that actually really really makes you think, unlike some of the reality tv crap that's managed to find its way on to our tvs (think Strictly come dancing).
Thank you HBO for making a series so unconventional, yet so utterly brilliant. So much so that I think I need to start amassing the dvd box sets.
Thank you Ricky Gervais for making me laugh as much as you did when i listened to your final guardian podcast last night. Still not sure whether i'm going to dole out R50 four every four episodes of season two... mmmm....
Thank you to whoever started that silly 75 questions ms word email forward thing. Been very interesting to see the responses.
Thank you Fresh, Thato and Mpho for playing awesome music and for making me laugh in the mornings... even if it is only for 26 more days :(
Thank you FNB for my credit card. Makes life sooooo much easier.
Thank you Amazon UK for sending me Freakonomics when I asked for it. One hundred bloody rand cheaper than Exclusive Books.
Thank you Opera for designing Opera Mini so that I can browse the net and check mail on my phone... very cool. Screw you Motorola-piece-of-kak-proprietary-broswer!
Thank you salami from killarney, whoever the hell you are - splattermail cracks me up.
Thank you to The Killers for making the most amazingly awesome album ever.

Just some random thoughts that came to me while I was eating lunch... pretty tempted to do a sarcastic one now... just a thought. may use it. may not.

What made my day today: Windscreen-washer man Godfrey at the Glenhove offramp. No matter how crap I'm feeling (not that I was felling kak today), he manages to make me smile.

Now listening to: A colleague talking to someone on the phone about something or other...

Going to work

2005-10-27T10:32:00.000+02:00

Its a simple route to work every morning: couple of blocks to the M1 and then about 5 minutes of hurtling down the highway. Then another 10 mintutes down Glenhove and into the underground parking lot. Now this was never going to be a post about my route to work (hoping you'd realised that).
I stopped at the Shell nearest my house this morning and got shown to a pump by one of the attendants. I've been helped by him before. Turns out he's mute you see. The last time he helped me, I hardly realised this, but this morning was a different beast altogether.
I was late. I'd overslept and when I'm late I get full of crap. He showed me where to park and asked me how much petrol I wanted. He communicates with hand signals - five fingers = R50, etc. I suddenly found myself getting angry at him because this was taking so long. But while sitting there waiting, I realised that I simply have no right to be so selfish.
What the hell was I thinking? To watch him meticulously going through all the steps: checking the fuel cap, water, oil, pumping tyres, etc, I realised that here was someone who was trying his hardest and doing a damn good job. This job obviously meant a better life for him and he was earning a living from it. As some sort of attempt at self-absolution, I gave him a decent tip (was that called for? did it mean anything? was i just thinking about myself in this situation?). So that was this morning's epiphany. Not the best bit of musing, but hopefully you get what I'm saying.

Life's quite hectic at the moment. Lots of loose ends and stuff going on. Be posting more regularly from now on, now that I'm in a routine. Got something big coming up soon... But hey, don't I always say that?

What made my day today: H20's new single on Yfm this morning. :)

Taking time out

2005-06-11T16:19:00.000+02:00

Yip- taken a few days off and sitting doing pretty much nothing in kimberley. All in preparation for the mad month ahead, yes- its festival time. Really looking forward to it. Its gonna be a 10 day blur again. Complete with daily hangovers. Kimberley's been nice though, cold but cool- done a grand total of nothing over the past 2 days. Catch you on the flipside, back to doing, well nothing. blogging from my phone again :)

the weekly maelstrom

2005-06-01T14:55:00.000+02:00

so, i've just emerged from the weekly maelstrom that is the weekly newspaper that we produce here in gtown (shoppa). kind of chows up my whole monday and tuesday (and most wednesday mornings), but it is fun and its also very liberating being part of such a small team that produces a product with such huge influence in this town. 'why don't you ever blog about shoppa?' bellowed mike (my boss), which is probably the reason why i've finally posted something on the subject. its been amazing being part of the paper (for over a year now - and no, i wasn't paid to say that), and i'm convinced that one day i'll write something quite decent and sizeable about the whole experience.

on the other hand, part of this newfound determination to blog links slightly to one or two of the projects that i said in my previous post i had up my sleeve :) i've made some headway there (and now even own yet another .co.za domain name). hopefully, i'll be ready with at least one of these ideas by the time term 3 starts (got that nice gap after festival...)

lastly, you may be confused as to what value 'test 4' has (the post immediately before this one)... well, it was the first time that i managed to successfully post via e-mail from my cellphone (a motorola v600, incidentally). so, i've decided to leave it up to brag a bit (the technology took forever to set up - and entire morning of fiddling in fact). this is the first of many posts via phone that i'll make in future (its so much easier!)

what made my day today: the promise of star wars 3 later (yes, finally)

now listening to: the cd in my car (well, i wish i was anyway - does the noise in my head count?)...